Back to earth with a THUD

In the past week I've had a rather severe writing reality check. My multi-page rejection and then the win in the First Kiss (which I'd thrown together a few days prior to the closing date) had me in a rather arrogant state of mind. Surely finalling in contests and subsequent requests was now merely a formality?

Well, as it turns out - no it's isn't :) Is started off well - I've finalled in all the contests I've entered this year until the Clendon. And then I didn't final in the Clendon.

Or get Highly Commended.
Or even Commended.
(BTW approx 25 people either finalled, were highly commended or commended)

I haven't come any less than 8th in a competition since 2007, so to not even be in the top 50% was a serious blow to my ego. It hurt. I also seriously regretted my Clendon posts - I mean, now blogland knows I failed! I suck, and my book sucks.

Fortunately, I got over that sookiness pretty quickly (thank you to my writing friends who dealt with my sookfest).

Then I found out my placing in a contest (that hasn't been formally announced yet). I didn't place - but that wasn't the problem. I didn't get a request :( So, this new book that has finalled in everything it's entered (okay, 3 contests, but "everything" sounds more impressive!) isn't worthy of even a request for a partial. Ouch.

But - I have a new plan:

1. FINALLY finish partial and submit (I do have a request for it from the FK comp -I'll need to do a considerable re-write)
2. Start something new and enter Romance Is Not Dead

Romance Is Not Dead terrifies me. I am a softie at the best of times, and potential public humiliation does not appeal. But - it will push me to write something new, and gives me a reward for finishing that damn partial.

With my new Humble Leah hat on, I don't expect to even final - I have no doubt that the competition will be huge and of a very high quality.

But still - worth a shot, right?

No final :(

I found out tonight that the finalists of the Clendon have been contacted, and as I haven't been contacted, I mustn't be a finalist :(

Oh well. I will need to re-write Book 1, one day, so it will get its chance to shine.

Waiting...checking...waiting

No, I'm not waiting on a sub, but the announcements of finalists for the RWNZ Clendon Award. I wasn't going to even mention I'd entered, let alone that I've been desperately checking my email for the past week, just in case I jinxed things. But really, that's just dumb :) And the next best thing to knowing the finalists of the Clendon, is to talk about the Clendon :)

This year is the first time I entered, and in typical me style, entering it became a comedy of errors. I got the dates wrong, and so I had to post the manuscript on a Friday to ensure it arrived in time in New Zealand. So I woke up bright and early on Friday morning, and headed off to an Officeworks near my work that would be able to print two copies of my MS. I'd still get to work on time, easily.

I'm driving along, and notice a strange burning smell. But it comes and go, so I ignore it. I also notice that I seem to be gripping the steering wheel rather hard, as the car veers to the left, otherwise.

I ignore this, too.

Finally, when turning a tight corner, understanding dawns. I pull over to a very convenient church car park, and confirm the news - I have a (very) flat tyre. I am mechanically useless, so call my boyfriend (out on a bike ride and away from his phone), and then my dad. Dad is on his way to work and not far away, so comes and promptly saves me. Temporary spare in place, I go to Officeworks (complete with grease smear on my face that I notice after I get back into my car with printed manuscripts), and eventually get to work very late.

I need to get my tyre replaced as the temporary spare is not suitable for my drive home, so my lunch break is spent very impatiently waiting for a $350 tyre to be fitted (that was a horrifying discovery - who knew "sports" tyres cost so much?) and then zipping off to the post office to post my entry. Except the post office isn't where it used to be.

So I drive to another post office (fortunately this one is still in existence) and my entry is finally - finally! - on its way.

And here we are four months later. Desperately checking my email.

The reason I so hope that I final in this competition, is because it's my rejected book. I entered prior to my R, and I would love for it to have a last hurrah. Because it was rejected, I know it's probably silly to hope it finals - obviously the reasons it was rejected are very real.

But still, it's nice to hope that my first book - which will always be special to me - may get its chance to shine.

Counting words and synopses

I've just added a couple of word count meter things to my blog - over there -->

Book 2's word count is rather pathetic - but that does include deleting a lot of Book 2 last week (but, let's be honest, I'm talking 1000s, not tens of thousands of words... I have been a bit slack).

The good news is that I do now have a synopsis for Book 2! I entered my first ever US contest, and a synopsis was needed. It's a rubbish synopsis in as far as how it is written (it's unjudged in this competition) but I'm pretty happy with the story. And amazed I managed to wrestle it down from nearly 3000 words to 1200 to meet the contest requirements :)

I still need to work with it a LOT more, and I'm sure it will evolve as the story is written, but it's so exciting to have a road map. For years I thought I was a pantser, but I failed dismally at that. Sadly while I can pants cute scenes, I certainly can't pants compelling, emotional, believable motivations and conflicts. Damn!

So plotting it is for me. For Book 1, it wasn't until I wrote the synopsis (after it had taken me nearly two years to write the first 5 chapters) that I was able to actually finish the book - and then it only took a couple of months. Knowing exactly what is coming next seems to help strangle my ever present doubt demons.

So - what are you - plotter or pantser? And is there anyone else out there who - like me - finds the dreaded synopsis actually (gasp!) helpful?

Two firsts...

First blog post (hooray!) ... and first rejection (boo! hiss!).

This is my second attempt at a blog. My first one, years ago, was very short lived - mainly because I just wasn't at a point in my writing career (and I've decided that yes, I will consider this a career, not a hobby) where I was even close to submitting. And so had very little to talk about.

Now, I am very proud to have one finished book behind me. Another hooray! Sadly it was the book that was rejected, but after having had two days to think about it, I'm feeling quite upbeat. There are lots of good things for me to take from the experience:

1. I actually finished writing a book. A WHOLE BOOK! 49,149 words that I wrote.
2. The book (the full manuscript) was requested by Harlequin Mills & Boon
3. I learnt so much writing it. I wrote the first chapter with no idea about internal conflict, or plotting, or saggy middles, or anything. At least now I know about these things, even if they (particularly internal conflict) need some work
4. I learnt so much writing it, that I understand the reasons why the book was rejected. I had already suspected some of them (h/h spent too much time apart, using too many plot devices, heroines internal confict is not quite right)
5. I got some fantastic feedback in my two page rejection letter, particularly about my voice. That gives me a lot of confidence.
6. And best of all, I have a request to send my next three chapters + synopsis direct to an editor at HMB.

So all in all, this rejection is not the end of the world. Onwards and upwards!

During my six month (argh!) waiting to hear back on my full, I've been reading many many blogs that I have found incredibly helpful. But I've just been lurking - I think I had some weird idea that talking too much about my writing would jinx things. Well, given not talking about my writing still ended in an R, I've decided to leap into the wonderful romance blogging community. If you'll have me!

I have no idea how anyone will find me, but if you do - hello!

Now, off to read my notes from Laurie Schnebly Campbell's fantastic Plotting via Motivation workshop before getting back into Book 2.